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You can choose how to make arrangements for looking after your children if you separate from your partner.

You and your ex-partner can usually avoid going to court hearings if you agree on:

• where the children will live
• how much time they’ll spend with each parent
• how you’ll financially support your children

You can use a legal advisor if you want to make your agreement legally binding.

You can agree on child maintenance at the same time or separately.

Get help agreeing

You can make a with your ex-partner. You can also use a mediator or get other help to help you reach an agreement.

You can read more about .Ìý

You can also get help and information from:

If you cannot agree on everything

You can ask a court to decide anything you cannot agree after using a mediator or getting other help.

You must show you’ve attended a meeting to see if mediation is right for you before applying to a court. You will not have to in certain cases, for example if there’s been domestic abuse or social services are involved.

You will not usually get legal aid to help with court costs unless you’re separating from an abusive partner.

You do not have to do any official paperwork if you agree about child arrangements.

You can write down what you’ve agreed in a if you want a record.

If you want to make your agreement legally binding, a legal advisor can help with the paperwork.

Making your agreement legally binding

You can get a legal advisor to draft a ‘consent order� if you want a legally binding agreement.

A consent order is a legal document that confirms your agreement. It can include details about how you’ll look after your children, such as:

• where they live
• when they spend time with each parent
• when and what other types of contact take place (phone calls, for example)

You and your ex-partner both have to sign the draft consent order. You’ll also need to get the consent order approved.

Get your consent order approved

You or your ex-partner need to apply for a court order to get your consent order approved. Your legal advisor can help you with your application.

You will not need to show that you’ve tried mediation.

Keep a copy of both the form and the draft consent order.

After the court gets your paperwork

There’s usually no court hearing. A judge will approve your consent order to make it legally binding if they think you’ve made decisions in your children’s interest.

If the judge does not think your consent order is in your children’s interest they can:

• change your consent order
• make a different court order to decide what’s best for your children

You can use a mediator to help you and your ex-partner agree on child arrangements without going to court.

A mediator is a professional who will work with you to help you make decisions based on your child’s best interests. They listen to both sides and take a neutral approach.

If it’s suitable, a mediator can talk to your child about what they want. This is called ‘child-inclusive mediation�.

You can attend sessions in person or remotely (for example by video or phone). You do not have to be in the same room or call as your ex-partner.

Mediation is not relationship counselling.

How much mediation costs

Mediation is usually cheaper and quicker than going to court.

The price of mediation varies depending on:

• the type of mediation
• where you live  
• how many sessions you go to

You can usually get up to £500 towards the cost of mediation through the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme. A mediator can help you apply for this.

You might also be able to get legal aid for mediation if you’re on a low income.

What mediation can help with

Mediation can help you and your ex-partner agree on the details of how you’ll look after your child, such as:

• where they live
• when they spend time with each parent
• when and what other types of contact take place (for example, phone calls) 
• how to cover your child’s living costs (for example, housing and day to day care)

Before you start mediation

You need to go to an initial meeting with the mediator. This is sometimes called a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).

At this meeting, the mediator will give you advice about the mediation process, discuss your situation and help you to decide if mediation is right for you.

If you decide to go to court, you’ll usually need to show you’ve attended a MIAM before you apply.

You will not have to go to a MIAM in some circumstances, for example if there’s been domestic abuse.

What happens next

If you reach an agreement, you’ll get a document at the end of mediation showing what you and the other person have agreed. You do not need to do anything else.

If you want to make your agreement legally binding, you should hire a solicitor. They’ll draft a consent order. You can then apply to court to ask a judge or magistrate to review and confirm the order.

If the mediator thinks that mediation is not right for you, they might advise you to go to court instead.

If you need more help agreeing

You can get help with .

You can also:

• ask a solicitor about other ways to resolve issues out of court
• to find out about any other help you can get
• ask for support from social services, if issues like domestic violence or drug abuse are making it harder to agree on child arrangements
• find out more about what family mediation involves on the

If you’ve got help and still cannot agree then you’ll need to apply for a court order before you go to court.

You may have to attend a court appointment and go to a number of court hearings.

Before the court makes a decision, it might ask you try mediation again or go on a course to help you resolve issues.

Types of court order

The type of court order you need depends on what you’ve been unable to agree on. You can apply for more than one court order.

Arrangements for your child

A ‘child arrangements order� decides:

• where your child lives
• when your child spends time with each parent
• when and what other types of contact take place (phone calls, for example)

Find a legal advisor if you need legal advice.

Your child’s upbringing

A ‘specific issue order� is used to look at a specific question about how the child is being brought up, for example:

• what school they go to
• if they should have a religious education

You can also apply for a ‘prohibited steps order� to stop the other parent from making a decision about the child’s upbringing.

Who can apply

The child’s mother, father or anyone with parental responsibility can apply for a court order.

You must usually attend a meeting about mediation before you apply. This is called a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM).

You do not need to attend a MIAM in certain cases, for example if there’s been domestic abuse or if you’re applying for a consent order.

How to apply

You can apply online or using a paper form for any of the following:

• a child arrangements order
• a prohibited steps order
• a specific issue order
• a consent order

How much it costs

It costs £255 to apply for a court order. You may be able to get help paying court fees if you’re on benefits or a low income.

Apply online

Once you’ve started your application, you can save your form and complete it later. You’ll have 28 days to complete the form after you’ve saved it.

Apply using a paper form

Follow these steps to apply for a court order using a paper form.

1. Read guidance CB001 on making an application.

2. Fill in the C100 court form. You must show you’ve attended a meeting about mediation first - except in certain cases (there’s been domestic abuse, for example) or when applying for a consent order.

3. Send your original form and 3 copies of it to the .

The court will arrange a ‘directions hearing� with both parents if you apply for a court order.

There will usually be a family court adviser from the at the hearing.

At the hearing, a judge or magistrate will try to work out:

• what you can agree
• what you cannot agree
• if your child is at risk in any way

They’ll encourage you to reach an agreement if it’s in the child’s best interests. If you can, and there are no concerns about the child’s welfare, the judge or magistrate can end the process.

The court will make a consent order which sets out what you’ve agreed, if necessary.

If you cannot agree at the first court hearing

The judge or magistrate will set a timetable for what happens next.

They may ask you to try again to reach an agreement, for example by going to a meeting with a mediator.

You may have to go on a course if your case is about child arrangements. The course is called a ‘�, and could help you find a way to make child arrangements work.

You usually have to go to one or 2 meetings, depending on the type of programme. Your ex-partner will not be at the same meetings as you.

Cafcass reports

The court can ask Cafcass to provide a report on your case to help decide what’s best for the child.

The Cafcass officer may ask your child about their feelings. You’ll get a copy of the report when it’s written.

What judges and magistrates consider

They’ll always put the welfare of children first. They will think about the:

• child’s wishes and feelings
• child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
• effect any changes may have on the child
• child’s age, gender, characteristics and background
• possible risk of harm to the child
• ability of parents to meet the child’s needs
• orders the court has the power to make

If you want to change your application

Use form C2 to change an application that the court is still considering.

The fee depends on what you’re asking the court to do. You pay the court:

• £184 if you still want the court to decide your case through a court hearing
• £58 if you and your ex-partner have agreed and you want the court to approve your consent order without a court hearing

You can change an existing court order or consent order. You can also ask a court to enforce an order if your ex-partner is not following it.

Change an order

You can decide to do something different from the court order, if you both agree. But you will not be able to enforce this later on unless you make it legally binding.

Make a change legally binding

If you both agree, you can draft a consent order to cover the new agreement and ask the court to approve it.

If you cannot agree, you can ask a court to decide how to change (‘vary�) the order.

Enforce an order

If your ex-partner is not following the order, you can ask the court to enforce it. Follow these steps.

1. Fill in form C79 to apply - read guidance CB5 if you need help.

2. Use form C78 to attach a ‘warning notice� if your order was made before 8 December 2008. Orders made after this date will already include one.

3. Send it to the . It costs £255.

The court will look at the facts again to see if anything has changed.

If the court enforces the order

Depending on your situation and what you’ve asked the court to decide they might make:

• an ‘enforcement orderâ€� - this means your ex-partner has to do between 40 and 200 hours of unpaid work
• an ‘order for compensation for financial lossâ€� - this means your ex-partner has to pay back any money you’ve lost because they did not follow the order (for example if you missed a holiday)

You can go back to the court if your ex-partner still does not do as the court ordered.

If the court does not enforce the order

The court might not enforce the existing order if they think that your ex-partner is not following it because:

• they have a good reason
• it’s better for your children to do something different

You can go back to the court if you do not agree with their decision or your situation changes.

End an order

Use form C100 to apply to end (‘discharge�) a court order that’s not working, or is not relevant to you and your children any more.

If your order ends at a fixed time (‘time-limited�), you can make your own agreement afterwards. You can get support to reach agreement, such as using a mediator or getting other help.